#15 Decision Time

Sometimes when I am at the store, I feel I have too many choices. As a generally decisive person, I am a bit thrown off by fourteen varieties of apples or a wall full of colored pens. Of course, mostly I am grateful for the abundance that surrounds me. This relates to my current dilemma.

All along I think I am aiming for a bone marrow transplant. With one path I get into that “plan the dive & dive the plan” mode. But like many informed doctors and patients, I seek a second opinion, really just for reassurance. The second leukemia expert actually thinks I should go a different route, which entails two years or so of low dose chemo and other medications, aiming for the same goal — no illness. In describing the details of this second option, this wonderful doctor mentions they count “time served,” as in the cycles of chemo I’ve already had.

Initially, having a choice throws me off my game, I feel overwhelm with having to decide and fear making the wrong choice. Maybe you’ve had a time in your life where there were options and you feel a paralyzed trying to decide? Well, I have reframed the decision. Both approaches have risks and each has benefits. I envision each approach with an open heart and a clear vision of pristine health for years to come. Some of you may’ve read my first post where I describe the Stockdale Paradox — basically being realistic but embracing hope for the very best…